In defense of partying: Why you should consider going out more
& raves for intellectuals and grandmas
Hello friends!
Welcome back to Endless Growth! If you’re new here, this is a newsletter focused on personal development where we pivot away from hustle culture and towards happiness with a focus on creating meaningful, fulfilled, balanced lives. In this lifestyle newsletter, we reflect on content that sparks ideas and growth.
I've been thinking a lot about nightlife and clubbing (bet you didn't see that coming) and how club culture has hit a plateau. COVID changed everything when it comes to the nature of how people party and it honestly makes me kind of sad that a lot of young people haven't gotten to experience the true chaos of nightlife.
Nightlife, especially if you live in a big city, is simply the heartbeat of social life.
When I say nightlife, I mean everything from clubbing to rooftop parties to salsa dancing, to cocktail bars, comedy shows, dinner parties, live shows, and all the places you find yourself when the sun goes down (and maybe when the sun's coming up).
I love a party. I also love 8 hours of sleep and making my workouts. These things may seem like a contradiction but people are multifaceted and we get to create and choose those facets.
I’ve spent a lot of time in this newsletter highlighting the party era of my 20s and while my life doesn’t look quite the same now, what’s more clear than ever is that I owe a lot of the multifaceted parts of my personality to nightlife.
Going out has made me more confident, more open to new people, and more open to new experiences.
In fact, this past week I found myself at a salon where a group of mostly strangers and I gathered to talk about the topic of the night: nostalgia.
(Note: for those who don’t know, a salon is a gathering of friends and strangers focused on conversation. This article describes them as a “rave for the intellect” a phrase I love).
I was invited to the salon through friends who I made through other friends, most of whom I met at bars, events, and parties.
Some of my closest relationships are with people I met going out. These relationships represent some of my strongest support systems, closest allies, and the people with whom I share some of my deepest thoughts and reflections. At the core of many of these relationships are the chaotic memories of a night out.
And so I think it would be a disservice to not talk about parties and nightlife in the context of growth when those moments spent out are just as much about having novel experiences, building community, and getting out of your comfort zone as any other experience.
There’s a lot to learn – for better or worse – from a night out. Growth happens sometimes in the ways we least expect it.
And while the way I go out no longer includes excessive drinking and being out until 3 am, I try not to find myself home on a weekend.
Life is full of obligations and the freedom to have these types of experiences is often fleeting as we take on more and more responsibilities and commitments from aging family members to medical procedures to children to home maintenance.
I think it’s important to not get so caught up in life’s responsibilities that we forget to have fun.
So this is my ode to and case for a night out. Not all of the time of course, this is a newsletter about balance, but by all means, please go party.
What’s your ideal night out? For me it’s dinner at a vibey restaurant followed by drinks at a lowkey cocktail bar.
✨ Thought-provoking
Influencer Parents
I came across this article in Teen Vogue about influencer parents and their children and it made me think a ton about content and consent. It’s one thing as an adult to think about whether or not we have consented to use of our images; it’s another thing when children are involved.
As someone who has spent a lot of my career working on digital harm and child safeguarding, it definitely concerns me how much we over expose children online. By the age of 13, parents will have shared over 1300 images online of their child (usually without their consent).
Some influencer children have started to speak up about the impacts of living a public life they didn’t consent to and have been advocating for better laws safeguarding child influencers.
Why it matters: When I think about two of arguably the most powerful celebrities, Beyonce and Taylor Swift, I always come back to the fact that what has made them so powerful is control over their image and that they get to tell their own story. We should give kids the opportunity to tell their own stories, if they want to tell them at all.
What’s something embarrassing a parents has shared about you on their socials? Some of the most unflattering photos of me live on my Mom’s FB.
Work Life
Writing your Resume for a Robot
Searching for a job seems harder than ever and part of that is because the AI tools used to (theoretically) make things easier for companies have ended up making things much harder for job searchers.
When you submit a resume online, no one reads it until it gets through a robot that has been programmed to pick up on keywords and send through only the most qualified candidates.
Why it matters: It’s more important than ever to know someone where you’re applying who can pass your application on to a real person. Ultimately people are the ones who get you jobs. Your next best bet is learning to write your application for a robot.
What are your tips to reading AI? I try to go light on formatting so machines can read my resume more easily.
Connection
How to Support People in Hard Times
I think we’ve all experienced moments when a friend or loved one was going through something challenging and we had a desire to help but didn’t quite know how. I found this article really useful on six things you can do to help in such situations.
I know that the people in my life are exceptionally generous and more than willing to help when asked but I often can’t think of what I need help with and don’t want to inconvenience anyone with what I do need help with. I’ve found it is much easier to accept a specific offer of help (e.g. I can come over Thursday and help you do laundry, I’ll bring you dinner on Sunday, I’ll drive you to the grocery store tomorrow, etc.).
Why it matters: “What are you struggling with right now?” is a great question to source problems you can potentially help with. While some people need help with chores and errands, other people may need support in unexpected ways.
What’s the nicest thing someone did for you during a hard time?
Well-Being
How Long Is Too Long to Stay in Bed?
I thought this was the perfect article to complement the idea of partying. I’m sure everyone has spent the morning after a night out tied to bed. And honestly, even outside of a big night, I often find myself just yearning to simply lay in bed. Nothing feels more decadent than ignoring the to do list and lying around.
Why it matters: We all know the importance of sleep but I don’t think we prioritize rest enough as a society. I give myself every Sunday to simply rest. As a result, Sunday is my favorite day of the week and I look forward to that pause and reset.
What I’m up to
Dopamine Land
I spent the Sunday before Memorial Day at Dopamine Land with friends and had a silly and fun time. Dopamine Land is just another one of those “immersive experiences” built in an abandoned department store with a number of dopamine related activities. It had us doing everything from beatboxing to pillow fighting to shadow puppets. While the whole experience was purposefully silly it was really fun and a great way to kill an hour.
Why it matters: Sometimes these immersive experiences are so fun not because they’re special but because they’re different. When the go to activity is always dinner or drinks it can be nice to play in a ball pit.
Have you been to Dopamine Land or a similar “immersive” experience? Do you think they’re worth it or overrated?
Dillion Francis B2B Valentino Khan
Dillion Francis has been one of my favorite DJs since college and it was really fun to see him play last weekend. I couldn’t help but laugh that the show started at 12:45am because while I love dancing and shows, I’m usually in bed by 1am on a weekend, maybe 1:30 for a special night.
My friends and I joked that we were grandma ravers because we brought earplugs (it’s too loud), and sunglasses (the lights are too bright), one of us scheduled an Uber home (smart) and I didn’t drink and kept two water bottles in my back pocket the entire show. This is 30.
Why it matters: Going out doesn’t have to be all or nothing. You can limit drinking or not drink, you can go home early, you can wear a comfortable outfit and sneakers, and you can upgrade your experience: maybe that means seats at the concert instead of standing room. Whatever it is, make it work for you. You can have both a fun night AND a productive next morning with boundaries around your night (give yourself a curfew) and realistic goals around your morning (maybe push your 8am yoga class to 10am).
What’s the latest you’ve ever stayed out? For me it was 7am during study abroad in Spain. The sun was up by time I got home. Great night!
Lifestyle
Poppi vs. Olipop
I’ve been surprised by the growing popularity of Poppi, Olipop, and other “functional” drinks. I actually love the taste of a lot of these drinks but am a little put off by the overuse of meaningless buzzwords that mislead people and the phrase “healthy soda” makes me cringe.
I feel the need to point out that neither Poppi or Olipop are health drinks. Yes, they contain ingredients that are good for you like prebiotics and fiber but 1) they’re usually in such small amounts it doesn’t matter and 2) it’s fairly well researched that the body absorbs nutrients more easily through food. Neither drink will fill gaps in your diet. The best way to have a healthy gut is to eat a varied diet and the best way to get fiber is through fiber rich foods.
Why it matters: If you’re a soda drinker, Poppi and Olipop are awesome alternatives. I think they can be fun alternatives to alcoholic beverages too but people should be wary of the claims both drinks make about their health value.
Olipop or Poppi? Which do you prefer and what flavor? I hate the taste of artificial sweetener so I have to choose Poppi since they use real cane sugar (in addition to sweetener) which helps hide the artificial flavor. Raspberry Rose from Poppi is a nice treat at lunch on days I have to go into the office but I’m still more likely to chose a La Croix or Spindrift. La Croix Pear-Peach and Spindrift’s Sparkling Iced Tea with Lemon is unmatched for me.
Kitten Heels
Post-COVID I’ve been leaning pretty heavily into comfort which means I’m in sneakers and flat shoes most of the time these days. While I still have heels I love, I try to save them for the nights I’m mostly sitting down. These kitten heels from Dolce Vita are going to be my favorite shoe of the summer.
Why it matters: You can dress them up, you can dress them down, and you can be on your feet for some time without pain. Kitten heels are back in if you ask me.
Sneakernight every night or is it just me?
That’s all for now, friends! Remember, what you water grows — see you next time! 💗
—Nar
Poppi and ollipop or whatever are both GARBAGE I hate them so much. I love convicted melon (liquid death sparkling water) and have recently been getting into Recess mocktails- particularly the Paloma and lime margarita.